Encheiridion — Epictetus
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ios Gbe Discourses of Bpictetus about their friendship, not even if they swear it and say that it is impossible for them to be separated from one another. For the ruling principle of a bad man cannot be trusted ; it is insecure, has no certain rule by which it is directed, and is overpowered at different times by different appearances.
But examine, not what otber men examine, if they are born of the same parents and brought up together, and under the same pedagogue ; but examine this only, wherein they place their interest, whether in externals or in the will. If in externals, do not name them friends, no more than name them trustworthy or constant, or brave or free ; do not name them even men, if you have any judgment.
For that is not a principle of human nature which makes them bite one another, and abuse one another, and occupy deserted places or public places, as if they were mountains, and in the courts of justice display the acts of robbers ; nor yet that which makes them intemperate and adulterers and corrupters, nor that which makes them do whatever else men do against one another through this one opinion only, that of placing themselves and their interests in the things which are not within the power of their will. But if you hear that in truth these men think the good to be only there, where will is, and where
Gbe Discourses of Bptctetus 109 there is a right use of appearances, no longer trouble yourself whether they are father or son, or brothers, or have associated a long time and are companions, but when you have ascertained this only, confidently declare that they are friends, as you declare that they are faithful, that they are just.
For where else is friendship than where there is fidelity, and modesty, where there is a communion of honest things and of nothing else. But you may say, Such a one treated me with regard so long ; and did he not love me ? How do you know, slave, if he did not regard you in the same way as he wipes his shoes with a sponge, or as he takes care of his beast ?
How do you know, when you have ceased to be useful as a vessel, he will not throw you away like a broken platter ? But this woman is my wife, and we have lived together so long. And how long did Eriphyle live with Amphiaraus, and was the mother of children and of many ? But a necklace came between them : and what is a necklace ? It is the opinion about such things.
That was the bestial principle, that was the thing which broke asunder the friendship between husband and wife, that which did not allow the woman to be a wife nor the mother to be a mother. And let every man among you who has seriously resolved either to be a friend no Gbe discourses of Epictetus himself or to have another for his friend, cut out these opinions, hate them, drive them from his soul. And thus first of all he will not reproach himself, he will not be at variance with himself, he will not change his mind, he will not torture himself. In the next place, to another also, who is like himself, he will be altogether and completely a friend.
But he will bear with the man who is unlike himself, he will be kind to him, gentle, ready to pardon on account of his ignorance, on account of his being mistaken in things of the greatest importance ; but he will be harsh to no man, being well convinced of Plato's doctrine that every mind is deprived of truth unwillingly.
If you cannot do this, yet you can do in all other respects as friends do, drink together, and lodge together, and sail together, and you may be born of the same parents, for snakes also are : but neither will they be friends, nor you, so long as you retain these bestial and cursed opinions. On the Power of Speaking. — Every man will read a book with more pleasure or even with more ease, if it is written in fairer characters.
Therefore every man will also listen more readily to what is spoken, if it is signified Inappropriate and becoming words. We must
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