Revelations of Divine Love — Julian of Norwich

woundes. For the first, me thought I had some : deale feeling ın the passion of Christ, but yet 1 de- | sired to have more by the grace of God. Me thought I would have been that time with Magdalen, and with other that were Christs lovers, that I might have seen bodilie the passion that our Lord suffered for me, that I might have suffered with him as others did that loved him; and therefore I desired a bodilie sight, wherein I might have more know- | ledge of the bodilie paines of our Saviour, and of the compassion of our Lady, and of all his true 4

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ELIE OEE EES ERG 3 s

THE SECOND (CHAPTER,

lovers that were living that time, and saw his paines: for I would have bene one of them, and have suffered with them. Other sight nor shewing of God desired I never none, till when the soule were departed from the body, for I believed to be

| saved by the mercy of God. This was my meaning ;

for 1 would after because of that shewing have the

: more true mind in the passion of Christ. For the | secomd came to my mind with contrition freelie, i without anie seeking, a wilfull desire to have of [ Gods gift, a bodilie sicknes. I would that that | sicknes were so hard as to the death, that I might | in that sicknes have undertaken all the Rights of

Holie Church, my self weening that I should have died, and that all ereatures might suppose the same that saw me: for I would have no manner of

| comfort of fleshly, ne earthly life in that sicknes. | I desired to have all manner of paines, bodilie and | ghostlie, that I shonld have if I should have died: | all the dreads and temptations of fiends, and all | manner of other paines, saving the out-passing of q the soule. And this meant I, for I would be _| purged by the mercy of God, and after live more | to the worship of God because of that sicknes.

For I hoped that it might have bene to my reward rl when I should have died, for I desired to have , | bene soone with my God and Maker.

SIXTEEN, REVELATIONS

These two desires of the passion, and of the sicknes that I desired of him, was with a condition: for me thought this was not the common use of praier. Therefore I said, * Lord thou knowest what I would, and if that it be thy will that I might have it; and if it be not thy will, good Lord, be not displeased, for I will not but as thou wilt.’ This sicknes I desired in my youth, that I might have it when I were thirtie years old. For the third, by the grace of God and teaching of Holie Church, I conceived a mightie desire to receive three wounds in my life, that is to say, the wound of verie contrition, the wound of kind compassion, and the wound of willful longing to God. Right as I asked the other twaine with a condition, so asked I this third mightilie without any condition. "These twaine desires before said, passed from my mind, and the third dwelled continuallie.

The Third Chapter

Anp when I was thirtie yeares old and a halfe, God sent me a bodilie sicknes, in which I lay three daies and three nights, and on the fourth night, I tooke all my Rights of Holie Church, and went [weened] 6

THE THIRD CHAPTER,

not to have liven till daie. And after this I laie two daies and two nights, and on the third night I weened oftentimes to have passed, and so weened they that were with me, and yet in this I felt a great loathness to die, but for nothing that was in earth that me liketh to live for, ne for no paine that I was afraid of, for I trusted in God of his mercy: but it was, for I would have lived to have loved God better, and a longer time; that I might by the grace of that living have the more knowing and loving of God in the blisse of heaven. For methought all that time that I had lived here so litle and so short in regarde of that endles blisse, I thought, ‘Good Lord, may my living be no longer to thy worshippe ?’ And I understood in my reason, and by the feeling of my paines that I should die: and I assented fullie with all the will of myne heart to be at Gods will. Thus I endured till daie, and by then was my bodie dead from the middes downwarde, as to my feeling. Then was I holpen to be sett upright, undersett with help, for to have the more freedome of my heart to be at Gods will, and thinking on God while my life lasted. My Curate was sent for to he at my ending, pe

SIXTEEN, REVELATIONS