By the third loaf we understand God’s mercy. Consider, daughter, the plenteous compassion that God has shown thee. When, having endowed thee with free will, thou didst of thy free will incur eternal death, he ransomed thee with his own self and washing thee in his own blood did cleanse thee from original sin. Observe further God’s mercy in being ready to forgive thy sins as often as thou seekest grace in time. To enumerate God’s mercies time would fail us though we lived till doomsday. Folks talk. of God’s providence. Know, what God has provided for us is his eternal felicity, in token whereof he has given us free will to do good and eschew evil.
At this point it behoves us to determine whether we truly repent us of our sins. Wouldst know the quality of true repentance ? It has to be so strong in thee that thou wouldst sooner die a thousand deaths than sin one sin. There be many that say ‘I truly repent me of my sins’ who yet remain in sin. Speaking falsely they augment their sin. Thou virtuous soul who wouldst enjoy God’s mercy and be baptized in the Hoiy Ghost, repent thee thrice: (first) for the sins thou hast committed against the Lord thy God by word and deed. Repent thee next of sins against — thine evenchristians. If thou wouldst taste God’s clemency and have him to forgive thy sins and dowse thee with his Holy Ghost. in grace, then show the mercy due to all mankind made in Christ’s image as they are, whether or not they shall have sinned against thee: needs must if thou art ever to find grace. The third repentance is heartfelt pity for thyself, bred from a survey of the
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happy days that God has granted thee for finding thy eternal happiness, he having made all creatures for signposts to thy highest good. As St Augustine says: ° All creatures point me to my good; Lord, I deeply rue that if I ever get to thee ’tis by thy mercy. The time goes by that thou hast given me and thou art still unknown to me and unbeloved : hence my regret. And yet I fear me, Lord, I never felt the true rue that I ought.’
By the fourth loaf we understand God’s justice. Innately, he is as just as he is merciful. Yet know, were I to tell you of God’s jus- tice, *twould be too hard for you: precious few would look for grace. Hence we emphasise God’s mercy, who throws souls into purgatory to find grace at the judgment day if not before. Know that in itself God’s justice is of a sternness that must make all tremble. Well knowing this, Christ said to his disciples: * Having done all that is possible to you, say, We are unprofitable servants.’ We learn this from St John also, who, though he did no sin to separate him from God yet likened himself to the beasts of the forest. Surely he knew God’s truth. I say, moreover, God’s justice is so harsh that, though a man should do all the good works wrought by the company of saints now in eternal life, yet, being found in any mortal sin (the first"is pride ; the second, slothfulness in God’s service ; the third, hate; the fourth, anger; the fifth, greed; the sixth, overeating and drinking ; the seventh, unchastity : these are the seven deadly sins), being found, I say, in one of these, he would be lost eternally. I hold it would avail him nothing for all the saints in heaven to intercede for him. I affirm, moreover, were Christ to supplicate his Father, and Mary his mother, ’twould not avail to save his soul. Further, concerning this I say that I would sooner have the man who sins a thousand mortal sins and knows it, than him who sins but one in ignorance: that man is lost. I hold he
‘may have practised every virtue of Holy Christendom and it will not avail him, he is damned with the lost, while he of a thousand conscious sins is saved, provided that, renouncing them heartily in true repentance, never to do them more, he mends his ways, steadfast in love till death. That man ranks with the saints. Ah, daughter, mark those souls who, all their days exempt from mortal sins, can say with the young man, ‘I have kept thy com- mandments all my life.’ Would to God I knew one person who could even say, “All my days have I kept the first of Christ’s commandments, Thou shalt love thy God with all thy soul-powers,’ and who has been preserved the while from spiritual pride.
The fifth loaf signifies true faith. It means absolute trust in God. He who believes in God trusts God and knows God and therefore loves God. Observe, woman, having true faith means believing in God’s omnipotence. The masters say: ‘ Whosoever
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has true faith as much as a grain of mustard seed, can remove mountains.’ Wherefore it behoves us assiduously to free our- selves from things corruptible, which dim the ligh@®wherein we see the true faith, which is God. To be able to say, ‘I am a true Christian,’ a man must subsist in Christ in the sense that Christ is his exemplar whereto he is conformed in word and deed. Know, that whatever Christ did he did to edify us in eternal truth, for he is the truth itself; he can initiate thee into the true faith. What I say is, that to get to the Father we must go to him in Christ ; to know the Father we must know him in Christ. And so Christ taught. When Philip asked him, ‘ Show us the Father,’ Christ answered, ‘ He who seeth me seeth the Father, and where the Father is there I am.’ Plainly then, we must follow the lead of the Beloved if we would be saved. People say, ‘ How can I do as Christ did?’ Christ tells us how. He said, ‘Take up your cross and follow me.’ Which do not understand to mean he bids you die the death he died upon the cross. His words were, ‘Follow me,’ meaning we are to imitate his perfect life. Our temporal failure to imitate his life in word and deed is our eternal failure. Concerning this he said, ‘ In my Father’s house are many mansions.’ For you must know that many a man who goes to, heaven no more enjoys the light of God’s countenance than sunshine in forest gloom. Nay, friend, mark what Christ said to the kinswoman who besought him for herson. He said, ‘ He who drinks of the cup I wot of shall be joint heir with me in my Father’s kingdom.’ Which being interpreted means : by our measure here it shall be meted to us again by our heavenly Father in his eternal kingdom. As St Augustine says: ‘So far as we know and love here we profit eternally.’
Theologians speak of hell. I will tell you what hell is. It is merely astate. Your state here is your eternal state. This is hell. Take an illustration. A thief who has incurred the penalty of death on being caught: picture his state of mind seeing others happy ! So do we feel, and worse. And so with those in hell who see God and his friends : the height of torment, so the masters say.
This learnt, the aforementioned daughter goes to her revered confessor. She says, ‘Sir, tell me the best way to my eternal happiness.’ Quoth he, ‘ Daughter, let be.’—‘ I shall never let be,’
she said, ‘so long as my eternal happiness is not assured.’ He said, ‘Thou art sure of eternal life, daughter.’—* But, sir,’ she persisted, ‘have you told me the nearest way to it ?’— Any creature will tell you that,’ he said. ‘ With one accord they all exclaim: Pass on, we are not God. “Tis direction enough, daughter.’—‘ Not for me, sir,’ she said. Said he, ‘ An thou wilt
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not believe me, at least thou wilt credit the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, who said: Take up thy cross and follow me. He did not say, Tale up my cross and follow me. What he meant was : be content to do thy best, knowing that therewith God too is satisfied..—‘ Would I had! done my best,’ she cried.— What wouldst thou do?’ he asked. She answered, ‘I would leave honour and possessions and friends and kindred and the outward solace I get from creatures.’—‘ Wouldst leave me too?’ asked her confessor. She answered, ‘ Aye, sir; leaving all things, I must leave you also.’—‘ Essay it not,’ he said, ‘’tis not for a woman.’ Quoth she, ‘ Full well I wot no woman can enter heaven till she be man. That means she must*do man’s work and have the strength of mind to withstand him and all imper- fections.-—‘ Thou deemst thyself mighty strong! I wonder now, how thou wouldst like to bear more than thou hast already.’ She said, ‘I can bear all, sir, that Christ has borne for me.’ He said, ‘These are words!’ She said, ‘It is true.-—‘ Canst prove it?’ said he. ‘ With ease,’ said she. ‘I have heard tell that in none of Christ’s sufferings did his Godhead come to the help of his manhood.’ He said, ‘ That is true. The Godhead is impassible ; „it never has suffered and never can suffer, seeing that nothing affects it.’ Quoth she, ‘ What Christ bore, I can bear.’ He said, ‘Tell me how.’—‘ I will,’ she replied. ‘ Right well I ween Christ was the noblest man that ever was born: from threescore kings and twelve he was descended ; and I say, moreover, he was the best heart’s-blood of Mary. See now my proof that I am fit to bear all he bore for me. Taking the test of breeding, the best bred are the tenderest. It follows that I can bear more than Christ can.’ Said he, ‘ Were I to tell you all I know of the perfection of his life in time in right willing poverty, ’twere like to break my heart. Bethink thee well!’ She said, ‘I have bethought me. This very day I mean to follow the dictates of the Holy Ghost.’—* What does the Holy Ghost dictate?’ he asked. She answered, ‘ He counsels me to leave myself in the mighty hands of God and to sever my ties with creatures.-—* Thou art wrong,’ he said. ‘ How so?’ said she. He said, ‘In not taking advice. Obedience is a virtue, as thou knowest.’—‘ I am obedient unto death,’ she said. ‘To whom ?’ he queried. ‘To Christ and his heavenly Father to whom John was obedient in the wilderness, and Mary Magdalene and Mary of Egypt and Mary Salome.’ Quoth he, ‘ It seems thou wilt no longer mind me.’—* You are right,’ she cried; ‘I am heartily sorry I listened so long to the counsels of men and was deaf to the counsel of the Holy Ghost.’—* Now listen to me, my daughter. What thinkst thou I have done to thee ? ’—‘ You have kept me from eternal bliss,’she said. ‘Howso?’heasked. She answered,